Sunday, May 22, 2016

AA PART 2

So after that first AA meeting. I didn't give up going. God no! I run several businesses, you can't give up!

Can you see the irony here?

So, I went to other AA meetings and the people there were totally lovely and healthy and sober - and oh God, I wish I could be like them.

I'll come back to that but...

So what happened?  I did 50 odd days and then slid back into the booze.

Shall I tell you why ?

It was my birthday and I didn't get some birthday cards from my close relatives and so I got very upset and distressed and thought fuck it.

I'm going to buy myself a very fine bottle of champagne and enjoy it for my birthday, because "I deserve it" and I will  be sober again tomorrow.

Only we can't do that can we?


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7 comments:

  1. 50ismynew40May 22, 2016 at 2:50 PM

    Ha! No, we can't do that! A little glimpse into your history. I went to one AA meeting, March 2015. On the spur of the moment, in absolute desperation. I went and I thought that I wasn't like the others. Not in a snobby way....I hope, just in a real 'I haven't quite heard anything that resonates with me totally'. I wanted to bump into a middle class, ordinary, wine guzzling working mum. So, I didn't go again. And my problem continues. Last August I gave up for FIVE months!!!!! .....and then I had something to celebrate and thought that k would Just Have One. Then I had Another One. And so it goes on. And here I am, back to square one, drinking every night and regretting it every day.

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    Replies
    1. ShantiMay 23, 2016 at 2:32 AM

      Wow 5 months! I can't imagine. I guess the good thing is we know we can do it, as we've done it before. It's just getting into that zone, the right mindset. x

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    2. Groundhog GirlMay 24, 2016 at 12:30 PM

      50isthenew40 you and I have VERY similar stories 5 months sober and then drinking once thinking it's easy to stop again. A year I have been trying to get sober so I hear ya and feel the pain.

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    3. 50ismynew40May 25, 2016 at 10:20 AM

      Ah, you and me both! And so easy to justify and rationalise eh? So how are you doing now? Still drinking? I am.......

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  2. LoobyMay 23, 2016 at 1:11 AM

    No, I can't either :( I done 100 days sober last year and since then have struggled to get 2 weeks sober together, there's always something coming up like a party or a holiday or a Friday ;) Anyway I'll keep on trying and I'll be cheering you on on your journey. Hugs xxx

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  3. Groundhog GirlMay 24, 2016 at 12:36 PM

    My experience of AA was 5 meetings and I want to go back to see if it was as bad as I remember. One the first meeting I met a bubbly happy lady from London who was happy, successful, sober and cool. She was visiting Cornwall on holiday. That was the last remotely happy, funny, grateful person I heard speak. Everyone else seemed depressed and stuck in their story but with seemingly no relief or happiness. I couldn't take it and stopped going. Here in the soberverse you read so many happy, grateful, enthusiastic and thrilled to be sober people. I will never be as positive as some because that never was me but I don't want to be a dry drunk talking about my last drunk.

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