28th July
I know me and I don't want to set myself up to fail because I know I will. Champagne tasting? My resolve will fly out the window.
The last time I gave up, and I think one of the reasons I started again, apart from being sad, was the absolute terror of thinking my social life will be zilch once I quit. That fear is still there and I need to find a way around it. I know people who say they don't need a drink to have fun - I used to have a chum who could take it or leave it and would often drive into town when we were on the pull ;) I couldn't get my head around it. I am one of those people who 'live for today!' 'Sod it, you only live once!' could be my calling card.
The thing is I don't have fun without a drink - or so my brain tells me (or is it the booze demon??)
I feel itchy, bored, disorientated and on edge. I know that's probably the addiction doing that and once I'd gone through 100 days things may get better. But it's that train of thought that nothing is ever going to be fun again. Not that it's much fun with a hangover, vomiting, blackouts and hurting myself. (So far I have managed to break an ankle, several ribs and a toe, as well as tear all the cartilage in one knee, sprain an ankle and be admitted into A&E with alcohol poisoning - that's without even considering the damage to my liver and kidneys) Yep heaps of fun.
Anyway, I am rambling.
I am re-reading the Jason Vale book and I'm going to put together some strategies to re-programme my brain to be FREE of this crap. I've tried hypnotism (plus acupuncture, meditation, CBT, medication and AA).
Any suggestions, gratefully received! x
While I hadn't set a firm date, I know I spent months in preparation mode. I read Jason's book with wine in hand. I surfed blogs with wine in hand. I thought a lot about quitting with wine in hand. It wasn't until I bought 8 small (glass size) bottles of wine so that they would last a week, that I quit. When I still drank 3 one night and 5 the next, I knew that moderation was not going to work. That was my catalyst. All this prep work will do you good. I'm on day 30 today, finally! Blogging has helped me tremendously! I'll be reading!
ReplyDeleteDay 30! Whoop! Thanks for your encouragement HD. I'm going to be blogging about some of the strategies and tools I am going to be using x
DeleteThat sounds like a good plan. It's how I gave up last year........until I started again. Also, great book. I have started to re read it again recently too. Think I will try to follow suit and fix a date to end this ridiculous habit. Keep blogging!
ReplyDeleteI feel now I have put a date out there to the world, I'm more inclined to stick to it - I hate letting people down :) Thanks for the comments love xx
DeleteShanti, good luck. Glad I found your blog so keep us all updated. x
ReplyDelete