Revealing

So, this is very my first blog post about my addiction.

Wow. Saying that freaks me out. I have been to AA meetings before (for 50 days last year - got the token, yes siree) but I still can't get over how bad (shameful even) it feels to say (shush, do NOT tell anyone) 'alcoholic' or 'addiction'. That shit is not meant to happen to me.

Having said that I have a some friends from way back who have died through drug overdoses or are in NA. Bless 'em. I think the one old pal who is in NA  is incredibly brave - a superstar! She's been clean of booze and drugs for 20 years - how cool it that? I have known her since we were five years old, but our lives went in different directions;  we have just re-connected after about 13 years via Facebook.

I was told she was in rehab for drug addiction years ago and I tracked her down....eventually. They wouldn't allow visitors so I scheduled a call. Do you know what I said to her?  'WTF xxx?, why can't you just get pissed like the rest of us?'

But me? Addiction? Nah, No love, Don't be daft. Me? (you need to watch that brilliant Catherine Tate sketch, just substitute 'gay' for 'alcoholic' and you have my denial right there

Here's the link if you haven't see it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hfZqbZtT6E)

YES! I am a party girl but far too sensible for illegal drugs. My drug is freely available on every street corner. Encouraged in fact. If you don't take it people think you are weird - they actually ask you why you are not taking it - how bat crazy is that?

Yep. Booze. I'm a booze hound.  I am addicted to alcohol. Who's the daft one now?

I've been mooching around reading some blogs - in particular

Mummy was a secret drinker

Annie - Dappled Path

Red Recovers

Ginger Groundhog Day

I get most of the updates via email. So I read but not often comment. But today I felt I really needed to comment on a post Annie made about her lovely hubby.

Part of me feels it is none of my business, at all, STFU Shanti!

But she comes across as such a lovely lady. I couldn't help putting in my tuppence worth. I would hate to see her lose her fella. She is well in her rights to tell me to foxtrot oscar.
Anyway, I hope it's taken in the spirit it was given - the opinion.

I am really, (no, really) crap at asking for help or support but I'm going to now (just saying that makes me feel vulnerable and afraid - jeez). So if anyone out there is reading this and can identify. could you let me know? :)  Put a comment in the comment section?.

I feel that this may help me in my battle with the booze - just in expressing things, feeling less alone - well you know. If I can help you, obviously, give me a shout.

Sxx